Yes, I am still alive, well and kicking. Due to the lack of interests, coupled with a few pints of writer's block as well as a few quarts of busyness led me to stop blogging for while.
After a few weeks, I am still not prepare to make a full comeback as yet. Like I said in my last post, I could stop blogging altogether or I will just post some random blurbs when I feel like it. So today, I felt the urge to post something that has been nagging me for a while.
You may wonder what the D word is all about. According to my word for the day, I associate D with "Discrimination". I am going to share a thing or two about my experiences with discrimination.
For starters, let me tell you I am not Euro, White or Caucasian but an Asian. As a single Asian man, coming to live in New Zealand is not an easy path for me. Even though Kiwi society as a whole are more open and tolerant with non-white foreigners but that does not mean they welcome you with open arms. In fact there are certain pockets in all layers in the society are not friendly toward the non-whites. While the majority of these bigots do not react violently towards non-white people, they will show their hostility silently in different ways instead. If you look closely around you, you'll notice the hints of discrimination that are display subtlely here and there as I could attest to them after living here for 3 years.
Let me cite you a few examples of discrimination from the general public:-
- A white man in mid 40s blocked my path in an aisle with his shopping cart when I was doing shopping in a supermarket. He refused to let me pass the aisle and stared at me menacingly for a couple of minutes until his old mother came and led him away
- Another incident also happened in supermarket, a handsome white couple in 20s that looked like they stepped out from fashion magazine reversed their shopping carts and turned their backs on me a few times when they saw me approached the shopping racks a few feet near them
- While on a bus passing by a small town, a group of red neck youngsters made swearing and taunting gestures at me
- A young teenage blonde in a petrol station smiled sweetly and engaged some small talk with a Caucasian lady who was standing in front of me. When it came to my turn, her demeanor turned icy and she threw the receipt across the counter after I made my purchases
- One young male white driver once honked at me, gave me an evil look and made swearing gestures when I walked on the street
- There are several times, cars loaded with white or Maori (I was suprised that some Moari behave like this even though they are subjected to discrimination themselves) teenagers rolled down their windows sweared and made racial jeers at me when they drove past
- A bunch of red neck teenagers (whose sole existence are to binge drinking, smoke dope and swearing) who partied at the house next to mine made racial jokes and taunting loudly while I was washing my car one afternoon
- The female partner of the tenant next to my unit would not even look or say hello when we bumped into each other. If she ever looked up, she just see her eyes through me and treat me like I am invisible
- The same thing happens in my work place where there are some staff who even refused to look at me when our paths are crossed
- Several times when I visited some shops, the salespersons would either leave me alone unattended or blantantly ignored me. But when some white customers walked in, they will run up and serve them
- The same thing happens when I was attending some technical/trade exhibitions. Many a times when I walked past a booth, I was treated like an invisible and when Caucasian attendees dropped by, the exhibitors will strike up a conversation with them
- Several times when I was attending big conferences and big events, I had a few unfriendly brushes with the white attendees. Some will knock me off from their path while others gave me some cold and blank stares as though I do not deserve to be there
- Not too long ago, while I was in Queenstown with my colleague (a Maori) showcasing some technologies in a conference organised by the ministry and we got the cold treatment by the attendees
- A trainer once told me to let my white colleague to do presentation, he told me when a Causacian makes a presentation, he/she will made a bigger impact. The audience are more receptive and paid more attention to what he/her say
- When I first came to New Zealand, I sent out my resumes using my original names, I got no replies at all. The moment I changed it to an English name in my resume and sent them out, I got replies for interviews
- Even in the buddhist organisation which I belong to, there are some Caucasian members who just don't want to talk, smile or go near to non-white members
- Several weeks ago, I was in a meeting with a team who tried to bid for project from my workplace. The team leader won't even look at me throughout the negotiation process. Another team member (a Pom) literally threw his business cards across the table to us while introducing himself. At the end of the negotation process, both of them had the cheek to make sarcastic remarks about us giving them a hard time. [As I write these, I am please to announce they failed to bid the project]
Examples like above show that if you are not Euro/Caucasian, then you are inferior, not important enough and not worth to deal with. Even though I pay the same tax rate as everybody else, I do not get the same equality that I deserve compared to my white counterparts.
Being gay makes my situation even more awkward. As a gay asian or "gaysian", I belong to a minority within the minority. Go and do a search in the gay dating websites and you will find some of gays with something like these written in their profiles:-
- Sorry not into Asian
- No Asian please
- Euro/Caucasian preferred
Others will avoid you like a plague when you reveal your ethnicity after a few emails and chats like what that idiot did to me.
I could give you an endless list of examples such as these. Sometimes I wondered what have I done to subject to all this kind of prejudices? Apart from being sidelined for being a non-white, I had to endure the push offs by the gay Caucasians. If I were to choose my life again, I rather not to be a gay. But right now I am gay so I have come in terms with my fate and deal with my life.
When I made the decision to move to New Zealand, I had already mentally prepare for these type of cold treatments. So I just ignore these incidents and move on. I got a life to live on, so why bother wasting my time and breath with these bunch of ignorant and arrogant idiots? If they don't like me, that it is their problem not mine. I shall held up my head high and live my life to the fullest even though it means I will be lonely for the rest of my life.
And I would to say out loud to the world out there, that I am proud to be an Asian! I do not have to change my skin, my accent or my culture just to fit in with the whites/Euro/Caucasians. If they have a problem, then so be it. I am proud of my culture, my heritage and upbringing, thank you very much!
6 comments:
wb!
As for the "idiot," when I looked back at your story, it looked to me to be at least as much a closet problem as a possible racist issue - hence his immediate removal of his profile when he realised you were a fellow employee.
Don't you think life would be more congenial in a more urban (which includes in some respects a more anonymous) environment? More on the gay side than the racial side, though probably on both. Easier said than done, but maybe more possible now you have that all-important "NZ experience."
Do you think life is more congenial in city (for a gay man)? I can't tell you whether this is true or not because I have never experience it. Perhaps you may share a thought or two?
The received wisdom is that it can be, because of:
1) Absolute numbers - more people = more gay people, so more choice and possibility of meeting congenial people.
2) Relative numbers - because of (1) clustering can mean you are part of a population where there are proportionately more gay people - potentially a more hospitable environment (ie: safety in numbers) - though this is perhaps an effect limited to inner-urban gay areas.
3) Anonymity of the city: you are less likely to run into your work colleagues etc at every turn - ie, more freedom to be gay without fearing embarrassment/exposure. This is actually another side effect of the greater numbers of people at (1).
4) Social environment is more chosen, less imposed - I think this is a compound of (1) and (3)- in a city, you have a greater opportunity to construct your own social milieux. (Of course, there can also be down-sides to this: if people aren't keeping an eye on you all the time, they are also not keeping an eye out for you.)
PS: did I miss something? Was it the "idiot" you were apologizing to or somebody else?
Gee, that's a very detail analysis. Thanks.
Having said that however, it also depends which city you live in and the social climate as a whole. For example, I used to live in a big city where all the gay areas (very limited) went underground. Due to the persecution by the authorities and the hostile treatment by the society, most gays retreat further into their closets. Which is sad, I know. Hopefully things will change for the better in the future.
PS: I am apologizing to another person (a nice gentleman) who took the task to clear the air and set the record straight. As for that "idiot", who cares? I had already gotten over him. :)
Of course it depends which city you are in, though I expect that the rule holds generally true for cities within their respective societies. I can't comment on what you say about the city where you used to live, because I don't kow which one it was. But anyway, in this case, aren't we talking about moving to a city in NZ?
Moving to a city in NZ? That depends if I can find a job in the city. The only places I can classify as cities are: Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin and Hamilton.
Apart from Auckland, all those places are smaller than Canberra (in terms of population). Auckland, being the largest city had the most concentration of gays. Other than moving to Auckland, I don't think I have much choice...
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