Sunday, August 31, 2008

Gay relationship is against the law of nature???


Had a conversation with my mum the other day. We spoke a lot of things just to catch up and somewhere along the line I brought up the topic that some of my friends are gay. It goes something like this:-

Mum: You mean they never had a girlfriends before?
NK: No, they don't...
Mum: So they have have been staying together under one roof?
NK: Yup, in fact they had got married under the Civil Union Act...
Mum: You mean they have been married??? So they are...ummm..they are doing those things...???
NK: Yes, well it is perfectly normal...
Mum: ...
NK: Look...they are indeed very nice people...
Mum: How old are they?
NK: In their early 50s...
Mum (exclaimed in exaggerated voice): Huh??? That old???
NK: And your point is?
Mum (chuckled): Don't you have friends around the same age group???
NK: What is age got to do with friends??? Besides peers around my age are just hard to come by...
Mum: OMG, you'll become an old man mixing with older people...
NK: Says who I am young? I am an old man now. Who cares whether they are old or young anyway?

Then the tension built up...

Mum: You can be friends with them but please do not be like them...you understand that???
NK: What do you mean not be like them?
Mum: What??? Don't tell me you are one of them???
NK: ...
Mum: Please do not be like them. Whether you can find a girl or not depends on your destiny...if you can't find one, it is OK to be single...
NK: Well...
Mum: Listen to me...do not be like them...it is abnormal...it is against the law of nature...the union of two people is suppose to be the harmony of yin and yang...it is about balance...two men being together is like the combination both elements yang and yang and that is not balance...that is disharmony of the nature...
NK:...
Mum: The rest can be gay if they want to but you do not go with the flow...you understanding what I am saying???
NK: Ok...sigh...

At that point I really had no mood to talk to her and wanted to hang up on her straight away but it would be rude to do so. Luckily someone came to see her so we cut short the conversation.

I can't blame her too much because she is conservative and fearing the wrath of the Almighty. I blame it to those religious fundamentalists, self righteous moralists and ultra-conservative politicians. If I can, I shall curse those bigots so they will suffer in hell for eternity because they have been fanning hatred towards gays and for ruining the lives of so many people causing much sufferings and hardships.

But what I could not swallow is the fact that my mum rather me being single for the rest of my life than having a loving relationship with a man (not that I have one at the moment)??? It's a cruel statement. If this is coming from a friend, I can cut off ties with him/her but this is coming from someone who gave me life. And I felt hurtful with such remarks!

Makes me wonder what is the point of living if I could not express myself freely and my family would not accept me as who I am...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Houston we have a problem.

[Deep breath.] My life is far from perfect, but I'll presume to offer some advice.

Your mother is a long way away and she shouldn't and indeed can't stop you arranging your life in the way which is best for you.

What you tell her about this once you've done it is another matter entirely. I know it is a problem that when we are young, we are not strong enough to tell these things to our parents, and when we are older, they may be too old to change or adapt to it.

You can cross that bridge when you come to it.

[Feel free to cut this next bit off if offended.]

Imho you need to stop yearning for unavailable men (including other men's boyfriends - you know who I mean - unless you can get them for yourself) and get yourself somewhere where you have even half a chance of finding someone - maybe not perfect or your (unattainable, almost by definition) dream, but more than good enough for you and, for things to work out, for whom you too are also more than good enough.

And don't think you are old at 35, because however old you are, you are always younger than you will ever be again. On average you've probably another 50 years to go. So it's definitely too early to give in yet.

j said...

Yes, Houston we have a big problem. Thanks for your valuable advice and insights. Much appreciated.