Supercity...

Oh come on. With the combined population from the suburbs, the whole metro area has only 1.4 million people and you call this place a super city??? The government, the councils and the local media certainly know how to make huge exaggerations and crown themselves with such dubious title.

This woman finally quits...

Finally, she is quitting parliament. The reason? Just because she could not get the top job in the party. Good riddance. She will not be missed.

A tale of modern madness - Conclusion

For those who missed the first part, here's the link.

40 Days and 40 Nights - Conclusion

Noah continues his laments with the Lord...

"Then the Environmental Court ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many people of other ethnicity I'm supposed to hire for my building crew and the requirement for separate female toilets on case I hire a woman."

"Also the trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experiences and they expect a day in lieu if we work weekends or public holidays plus holiday pay and rain allowances."

"OSH has decreed each employee must be equipped with a life jacket and personal life raft even though we are building on the mountain. When I pointed this out, they made me provide ice axes and climbing boots for each employee and their families, and harnesses because I was working over 3 metres in height"

"To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"At first the Government was in favour of my project because it created jobs on the mountain"

"Then they were shocked by an opinion poll which revealed that 99% of all New Zealanders opposed a devastating flood, and after an emergency cabinet meeting, the Prime Minister announced that her party had never favoured floods as a means of solving problems and was totally opposed to the project (unless future opinion polls revealed popular support for the Ark)."

"She said, 'God should sit down and talk sensibly about the issues'."

"So forgive me, Lord. But it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you're not going to destroy the work?"

"No," said the Lord, "The New Zealand government beat me to it"

A tale of modern madness - Part 1

Extracted this from a community magazine. This is a little story that presents the current political climate in NZ. It shows how democracy had gone wrong and political correctness gone mad in the country. To those up and coming politicians, please read it carefully because this story will provide you the hints how not to run the country. LOL... :p

OK, enough of my blabbering. Now please enjoy reading and go on have a good laugh...

40 Days and 40 Nights

In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Auckland, as an illegal immigrant and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and over populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Noah was dubious about the project, because unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights is normal in Auckland, but he knew he must bow to the will of the Lord.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his revered quarter acre section but no Ark. "Noah," he roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building consent from the council. I've been arguing with the Fire Service about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My neighbours claimed that I've violated the zoning laws by building the Ark on my property and exceeded the height limitations. We then had to go to Arbitration for a decision."

"Then the electricity companies demanded a bond to be posted for the future cost of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would heard nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. The Greens have placed a ban on cutting local timber in order to save the kiwi. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the birds but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it is cruel and inhumane to put many animals in a confined space."

"The indigenous tribes have forbidden the project to continue unless taniwha are permitted on the Ark and the indigenous tribes own half of the Ark after I designed and built it. I also have to agree to pay $150 million for depriving the indigenous tribes of traditional lands by means of inundation, which they allege is simply a case of 'colonization'."

"I am bogged down in further negotiations on multi-million payments for rights to sail the Ark on the seas of Aotearoa. Other tribes have sued me because they allege the Ark is a Pakeha version of their canoe and they have appealed to the Waitangi Tribunal to declare it tapu."

To be continued...