A thing about relationship...

Relationships are not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build till the END. We don't fall in love with the package of the person, we fall in love with the INSIDE of a person.

Irritation...

Someone said "Your environment reflects your inner self." and I decided to put it to the test. Yes and I can confirm that this is true. I have this irritation brewing deep down in my life for weeks and it is reflected back in things and people around me like a clear mirror. Everything I see, hear or touch just infuriates me at the moment.

Recession

I was chatting with my friend a while ago about the recession in NZ. He was commenting about how bad it was in the job market at the moment. He was getting sick of his day job and contemplating on starting a his own business. But business is hard to come by these days especially in the area where I lived at the moment. But this is only a tip of the iceberg, apparently even the shopping district in City of Sails and Wellywood are punctuated with "For Leasing" signs all over place, many shops had closed and deserted the place.

Then we got talking about how Kiwi expatriates with high flying careers returned to NZ only to be greeted by a rude shock because they could not find jobs in NZ. Moreover, I have heard that many migrants who came to NZ have to leave the country because there is nothing much to offer here. They also discovered that living in NZ is far worst than their home country and so they packed their bags and go. Even the net migration is at it lowest. Worst still, a lot of people I known of had left the country and crossed the ditch. 

These days when you flip the newspaper, apart from crime news, civil disobedience, public bickering and political circus, the rest will be gloomy news about so-and-so company is closing, so-and-so finance company went into receivership, more jobs were cut due to cost cutting measures by the government and the private companies. Makes one wonder whether there is an economy exist in this country.  

All the great news from the government, the Treasury and Statistics department telling us that this country has come out of recession is just a big lie. All the happy news about how NZ is one of the most desirable country to live in is just smoke and mirrors to cover up the true deplorable state of this country. To be honest, apart from the scenery, there is nothing much NZ can offer here. Even the scenery are not that special because they can be found in other places as well.

I have been through many cycle of recessions throughout my life. I was born right smack in the Middle East oil crisis in the 70s. Then came another economic doldrums in the early to mid 80s which affected a lot of factories and manufacturing sector in my home country. Just when we thought we had a breather, the 1987 Black Monday brought the stock market down and it prolonged till early 90s. By end of 90s, we experienced the currency crisis in the financial and currency market. Then the dot com bust in early 2000 followed after that. And now we have this financial and property market collapse thanks to the reckless bankers and  unethical speculators in the western countries.

Throughout those recession cycles, we have been hit hardest and we really had to grit our teeth to make ends meet and to keep moving on. But it starts to get weary because it's just never ending and I wondered how long I can keep going to put up with all this crap.

At the end of the conversation, my friend told me that he decided to stay on his job because he felt grateful to have a steady income. As for me, I am not sure about my situation and I am really exhausted to think what the future might hold.

Maybe I am just tired of living...

To blog or not to blog

I have been thinking for a while what to do with this blog. Been wanting to close it down but I kept dragging my feet and procrastinated. After all these years, I have grew accustomed and developed feelings (which is silly I know) with this blog and I am not ready to give it up just yet. Yet, I have really nothing much to say lately. Hence the question of whether to close the blog resurfaces again.

When I first started this blog slightly more than 43 months ago, I did it not because I want to be famous or make a big political statement but merely wanted a space to vent out and yet stayed anonymous. It is my daily journal where I can just write to my hearts content and record whatever comes out of my mind. I do not expect people to read it but they do. The moment I published the post, I realised that I had open another facet of my life for the world to see. Every word or sentence I composed were read, interpreted and even judged by unknown faces in the blogosphere.

Once there was one netizen who reprimanded me for bitching too much and being too negative after I wrote a series of very strong worded posts about the realities in NZ. Naturally I just ignored his comment. I feel that this is my personal space and I do not need to justify every action I did. After all I am not writing what other people would expect and want to see so why do I need to conform to their comments?

Of course there are many things I would like to write about but I would rather not. There are certain areas in my life which I deemed too personal and therefore not feasible to expose to the public. Already, I have started culling those posts about deeper personal issues which I had wrote previously. People are smart and they can guess things easily based on what you write and you will never know if they will use that to turn against you. So in order to end the unnecessary speculation and protect myself as well as others, I chose not to write about it.

What started as a place for freedom of expression turned into another virtual prison for me. With such limited choices to journal about, I find it cumbersome to maintain this blog as the days gone by. Which begs to the same old question again: To blog or not to blog?

The Joy of Life - Part 5

1. To let the circumstances dictate one's state of mind is human. To let the mind dictate the circumstances is sage
2. To criticise less and praise more is a good way to avoid creating negative karma of speech
3. In dealing with your heart's desire, ask yourself these questions: Do I need it? Do I want it? Can I acquire it? Should I acquire it?
4. A big duck cuts a big wake, a small duck cuts a small wake. Big or small, each duck will paddle its own way to the other shore - but only if it paddles
5. Keep your ears and eyes wide open. but mouth tight shut. Be quick with your hands and legs, but slow to spend

The Joy of Life - Part 4

1. To transcend the suffering of birth, old age and sickness, keep to three principles: live happily, face illness with a healthy mind and embrace old age with hope
2. What we have now is the best. He who can never be satisfied is a poor man, no matter how much he owns
3. Simply deal with matters with wisdom and treat people with compassion, without worrying about personal gain or loss. Then we'll never be plagued by vexations
4. To be accommodating to others is to be accommodating to ourselves
5. To increase our blessings we need to recognise blessing, cherish blessings, nurture blessings and sow the seeds of blessings

The Joy of Life - Part 3

1. While worry fuels unnecessary torment, carefulness breeds security.
2. Wealth is like running water, and giving like digging a well. Just as the deeper the well, the more water it holds, the more you give, the more wealth you have
3. In life, we must make the best preparation and be ready for the worst
4. As long as we still have breath, we have boundless hope, and the breath we have is the greatest wealth
5. The busy make the most of the time. the diligent enjoy the best of health

The Joy of Life - Part 2

1. Wisdom is not knowledge, nor experiences, nor dialectical excellence, but a selfless attitude
2. A positive life pivots on modesty; the bigger the ego, the greater the insecurity
3. The noble pursue the path, the average pursue their duties, and the misguided pursue fame and fortune
4. Live up to your role and status. and fulfil your required duties
5. In peace and harmony, seize the promise of today and live out a fresh tomorrow

The Joy of Life - Part 1

1. The meaning of life lies in serving; the value of life is giving
2. The purpose of life is to receive karmic results. fulfil old vows and make new ones
3. Our value depends not on how we live, but on how much we contribute
4. As the past has faded into misty memories, and the future remains a dream unrealised, seizing the present is most important
5. There is no need to be concerned about the past and future. Live fully in the present and you are connected with both the past and the future

The Joy of work - Quotes for the new year - Part 3

1. A passing boat leaves no trace upon waters; a bird's flight leave no trace in the sky. When fleeting success, failure, gain or loss leaves no trace upon heart, the great wisdom of liberation has been achieved
2. Who is willing to be openly exploited is noble minded; who is insulted and insidiously exploited is dim-witted
3. Pressure usually stems from caring too much about externals and other people's opinion
4. Offer your service with a heart of gratitude, as if repaying a kindness, then you won't feel weary or tired
5. Always feel gratitude in your heart, and give unstintingly of your wealth, physical strength, mental effort and wisdom
   

The Joy of Work - Quotes for the new year - Part 2

1. To take on tough tasks, one must prepare to tough out complaints, and to be in charge is to be in for criticism. Yet complaints help foster compassion and patience, and criticism often holds golden advice
2. Stay at east under all circumstances, and give whenever conditions allow
3. All the ups and downs of life are nourishing experiences for our growth
4. Rectify deviations with wisdom; accommodate others with compassion
5. If the mountain won't move, build a road around it. If the road won't turn, change your path. If you are unable to even change your path, just transform your mind

The Joy of Work - Quotes for the new year - Part 1

1. Be busy without being disorganised, and weary without being dispirited
2. Be busy but happy, and tired but joyful
3. It's fine to be busy, just don't let it get on your nerves
4. Work swiftly, but don't get tense up; relax your body and mind and never tighten up
5. Work swiftly in an orderly fashion; never compete with time in a nervous flurry
   

Interesting article to start the new year...

Power of Money, By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.


Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire.' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires' ). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur' s Organisation) a few years back (YEO) is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs.

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.
What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing,trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness.

Yet another motivation article...

This week is "Interesting Articles" week. I found another good one and would like to post it here. Enjoy reading...

Staying Young

When I was younger, I thought I had nothing to do with those who were elderly. I think most young people find it hard to believe that they themselves will grow old. The reality is however, that now I am among the "elderly," and I can't move with the speed and ease that I once did.

My teacher used to say that the last years of our life are the most important. If those last few years are happy ones, we have had a happy life.

Old age is a time of spiritual fruition and completion. When people are no longer pursuing position or status, money or material possessions, they can look closely at themselves and at the reality of life and death without the distractions of superficial concerns.

When you reach old age, you know in your heart if you have lived a satisfying life or not. No one else can know this or decide it for you. The single greatest challenge we each will face is whether we can honestly say at the end of our days on this Earth that our life has been well spent.

I believe that whether we can live a truly satisfying life to the end depends to a considerable extent on how we view death. Sadly, many older people are anxious and fearful about death. But, as a Buddhist, I find it helpful to compare the cycles of life and death to the daily rhythms of waking and sleeping. Just as we look forward to the rest sleep brings after the efforts and exertions of the day, death can be seen as a welcome period of rest and re-energizing in preparation for a new round of active life. And just as we enjoy the best sleep after a day in which we have done our very best, a calm and easy death can only follow a life lived to the fullest without any regrets.

It is natural for trees to bear fruit in the harvest season, and in the same way, "old age" is a period of ripening. It can be the most valuable time in human life, when we have rich experience, deeply polished character, and a pure and gentle heart. The loss of certain capacities with age is nothing to be ashamed of. Rather, I feel the various infirmities of age should even be seen as badges of honour and worn with pride.

There is a saying that goes, "To a fool, old age is a bitter winter; to a wise man it is a golden time." Everything depends on your own attitude, how you approach life. Do you view old age as a period of decline ending in death, or as a time in which one has the opportunity to attain one's goals and bring one's life to a rewarding and satisfying completion? The same period of old age will be dramatically different depending upon your own outlook.

I received a letter a few years ago from a woman in Kyoto who was then 67 years old. Her advice was as follows: "We need to banish any expression of defeat from our minds' statements or thoughts such as 'I can't do it,' 'I'm too old,' 'There's no point in my trying,' 'I'm past it,' or 'It's too hard.' Instead we should be telling ourselves: 'I won't give up yet,' 'I'm still young,' 'I can still do it,' 'I've still got plenty of energy.' Just by changing the way we speak to ourselves and others we can change our pattern of behaviour in a positive direction."

Research shows that when people make continuous use of their powers of memory and concentration, these abilities need not fade. An active interest in others, finding new pastimes and making new friends such positive attitudes have been shown to slow physical and mental decline.

Even though our bodies may age, if we maintain an active, positive attitude, our hearts and minds will remain "youthful" as long as we live.

To quote the poet Samuel Ullman, "Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of imagination, a vigour of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life."

It is vital to always look to the future, to have plans and aspirations-such an outlook is crucial to making the last years of one's life rewarding and fulfilling.

One woman whose youthful attitude greatly impressed me was the American painter known as "Grandma Moses." She had produced around fifteen hundred paintings by her death at the age of one hundred and one. Yet she didn't even start painting until she was seventy-five. She had never studied painting and was an ordinary farmer's wife until then.

She had faced many difficulties in her life. Five of her ten children died young, and she lost her husband when she was sixty-six. She said that though she had experienced real pain and hardship, she refused to be dragged down by suffering and always looked ahead.

Whatever she encountered, Grandma Moses strove to make each day and each moment shine with her smile. After her surviving children left home and her husband died, she refused to give in to loneliness or step back from life. She took up the challenge of painting, and her last years glowed like a beautiful sunset. She wrote, "I look back on my life like a good day's work. It was done and I feel satisfied with it. I was happy and contented. I knew nothing better and made the best out of what life offered. And life is what we make it; always has been, always will be."

There is a great difference between simply living a long life and living a full and rewarding life. What's really important is how much rich texture and colour we can add to our lives during our stay here on Earth - however long that stay may be. Quality is the true value, not quantity.

Another motivation article...

Another interesting read from Daisaku Ikeda. It's about how we deal with challenges be it big or small our daily life...

Facing Challenges

Two African American sisters, Sadie and Bessie Delaney, were born in the Southern United States at the end of the nineteenth century.

Growing up, the sisters experienced great pain because of deep-rooted discrimination against people of African descent. They often shook with anger at the treatment they received. But they refused to be defeated, learning to laugh off discrimination and encouraging each other not to despair. The sisters determined: if society isn't going to accept us if we have the same ability as white people, then we're just going to have to become even more capable. They drew strength from their father, who used to say, "Don't ever give up. Remember, they can segregate you, but they can't control your mind. Your mind's still yours." Through tireless effort, they gained places to study at Columbia University.

Sadie, the elder sister, became the first African American to teach domestic science at the high school level in New York City. Bessie, meanwhile, was only the second African American woman licensed to practice dentistry there. They were not defeated by discrimination, poverty or criticism. They knocked back obstacles with the attitude, "What! Is that all?"

Bessie summed up her attitude, saying, "However you do it, you've just got to fight in this life....If there's one thing you've got to hold on to, it's the courage to fight!" Both sisters outlived their detractors, living to over 100 years old with a deep sense of achievement.

Many people think that it is only those born into fortunate circumstances who can succeed in life. Such people often feel that they too could have been successful if only they had been blessed with this or that, or if only they weren't hampered by the problems that trouble them now.

When I was young, I had a friend who excelled at everything and whom everyone admired. But recently I heard that he had ended up very unhappy, beset by illness and family problems. How could this happen to someone who had seemed so lucky in his youth? Maybe it was because, having been pampered from an early age, he never learned what hard work was, nor what it meant to struggle to achieve something. Thinking that everything he needed would fall into his lap, he probably avoided making strenuous efforts and was therefore unable to withstand the waves of difficulties which hit him later in life.

As long as we are alive we cannot be free of difficulties nor spared from problems. The question is how to overcome and resolve them. And there is only one answer: to confront and challenge life's trials head on. In doing so, we can actually change them into sources of joy. Hardship builds character. I firmly believe that one can never become a person of extraordinary character just by leading an ordinary and peaceful life and avoiding difficulties.

Life involves scaling one mountain, then the next, then the one after that. The person who keeps on going, one step at a time, and finally conquers the highest mountain, will have a real sense of victory in life. But someone who avoids challenges and takes the easy route instead will gradually descend into the valleys and feel no such sense of satisfaction.

Such a person, when faced with a problem, tends to think, "I know I should take action, but it will be very difficult." When it is time to act, this kind of person tends to turn away. Someone who perseveres will rise to the challenge however, determining, "It will be very difficult, but I must take action."

A dear friend who faced every challenge in her life was Mrs. Fang Zhaoling, a painter and calligrapher based in Hong Kong who passed away in 2006 at the age of 92. She grew up during great disorder in China and her father was gunned down before her when she was eleven years old. But her mother was determined not to let this tragedy stand in the way of her daughter's education, and Mrs. Fang studied hard, also learning to paint.

She married young and bore eight children. Then tragedy struck again when she was 36. Her husband died, leaving her to bring up the children-aged between three and eleven-alone. Mrs. Fang then ran a small trading company and somehow managed to support and raise her children and provide each of them with a good education. She said, "Experiencing the hardship of being widowed at a young age is perhaps what gave me the strength to go on to study and develop my skill as an artist."

Her life was evidence that overcoming challenges, triumphing over adversity is what life is all about. Her paintings often show steep cliffs and forbidding crags, but often one can make out a path or road through the rocks. Even in her eighties, Mrs. Fang was always active, always moving forwards. Her life shone like a jewel, forged and polished by hardship. A diamond, the king of jewels, is the hardest and brightest of minerals. Just as diamonds crystallize when carbon buried deep underground is subjected to extremely high pressure and temperatures, so, when we forge our lives under the intense pressure of difficulties and in the severe heat of hardship, we can develop a beautiful and strong sense of self.

Often the biggest obstacle in meeting life's challenges is actually our own fear of failure. But it is not failure that we should fear. The only real failure comes when we allow our fear to prevent us from taking on new and unknown challenges.

Just about every important figure in history has in fact lived a life marked by one mishap after another. But these individuals rose up again after every setback, prodded on by a spirit that refuses to concede defeat and relishes challenge, to eventually crown their lives with victory.

Even if you have problems, even if you have done things you regret, or have made mistakes, your whole future still lies ahead of you. If you can just keep moving forward, telling yourself, "I'll start from today," "I'll start afresh from now, from this moment," then a whole new world of possibilities will open up before you.

Three turning points in life...

I read this from somewhere but I can't remember which book. It goes something like this:-

A person faces 3 turning points in life that one should bear in mind:

• The first is around the age of 17 or 18 when one may become tainted through the bad influence of friends
• The second is around 30 when one may become arrogant about things, failing to show respect even to venerable seniors
• The third is around 40, where one may grow bored with life and be given to reminiscing about the past, thus growing weak at heart

I think I had reached the third turning point a little too early...

What is love?

I am a traditionalist when it comes to love. I would work hard to build a solid, intimate and deep bonding with the man I love. Sex no doubt adds pleasure and zest to a relationship play only a small role in my definition of love. To me, looks will fade, passion will subside and lust will wane over time. Therefore to establish a true, solid and intimate relationship between 2, you need the following ingredients: -
- trust
- loyalty
- integrity
- inter-dependent
- considerate
- courage
- friendship
- non-judgemental
- tolerant
- understanding
- patience
- conquering obstacles
- bonding
- unwavering support
- affection
- commitment

What do you think?

A formal apology...

I wish to apologise to the person whom I briefly mentioned (which I have removed from the page since) in my posting yesterday. After learning the true situation, I realised I had misjudged and misunderstood him all along. For that, I am truly sorry.

Some lessons in life to cheer yourself up - Last part

Live up to your name

Seize the Moment

Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between

Indulge in the things you truly love

Cherish every Sunday

At the end of the day... PRAY

And close your eyes, and smile at least once a day!

Some lessons in life to cheer yourself up - Part 3

Say "I love you" often

Express yourself creatively

Be conscious of your appearance

Always be up for surprises

Love someone with all of your heart

Share with friends

Watch your step

It will get better

There is always someone who loves you more than you know

Exercise to keep fit